iPhone 5 Receives Standing Ovation Despite Racial Slur Printed On Rear For Cook’s Amusement [The Onion]

By  | 

Apple CEO Tim Cook has sneeringly said that as Apple customers are easily-manipulated “sheeple”, they’ll “line up like idiots” to get fleeced (ho ho) for the iPhone 5 reports TheOnion.

The Onion: iPhone 5 will have racial slur printed on rear, just for kicks

The news parody website carriers on the ruse by saying that Cook’s so confident in their stupidity, in fact, that the multi-toned black gewgaw will have the word “n*gger” emblazoned on the rear. “Sure, the new iPhone has the word ‘n*gger’ printed right on it, but we all know you pathetic losers will still buy it in droves, because, hell, you’ll buy anything we put out,” Cook told the assembled mass of slavering tech hacks.

The iPhone 5 is thinner and taller, just like a second wife, with a higher-resolution display and the hideous racial insult beaming out in 36-point Helvetica. The same offensive legend will adorn every single new Apple accessory, just to drive the point home:

“Our technology ensures the word will brightly light up through whatever cover or sticker you may use in an attempt to obscure it, so don’t even try. You are all very stupid and sheeplike, and I will enjoy watching this play out.”

Cook went on to give a short preview of the new iPad. Apparently, the shiny new device’s ringtone, which will prove unchangeable, will feature Roseanne Barr shouting “f*ggot!” over and over again.

Source: The Onion

Mike is the man who reviews gadgets that aren’t mainstream or products that can’t exactly be classified as consumer electronics e.g. portable talking toilets. It’s always interesting to read about the crazy products we have here in Asia that just don’t get as much publicity as they warrant.