As soon as we all got Facebook, we’ve all been competing to see who has the most exciting life. Unless we’re all lying (…cough…..) we’re all jetting off to places exotic, cooking amazing meals with beautiful friends…yaddah yaddah….. We’re all so busy leading glossy lives, it seems. But are we? It’s not too hard to sex up our workaday snaps to make it look as if we’re living the dream.
Facebook tricks to spice up your page
So, if you’re NOT actually living the dream (and who is, really?), here are five simple ways to live it on Facebook. Remember, Facebook is nothing if not a highlights reel!
Use filters on your camera – Retro Camera, Hipstamatic, Instagram…whatevs. Life always looks better in sepia.
Your captions are vital, especially if they have LOTS of exclamation marks!!!!!!!! When you see a shot of someone’s profile and half their arm on the drive into work, it’s so much better if you know they were listening to their all-time fave song at the time!!!!! Really!!!!!! Try this: “Just heard Motley Crue’s ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’ on the radio and now I’m ready to pole dance my way through the day!!!!!!!!!!” Ahem. If you’re a 42-year-old man in middle management, adjust accordingly.
Wait for the one exciting moment of your night out. Most nights out consist of queuing at the bar, dodging dodgy guys and wondering where your money went. However, in Facebook world, everyone looks like they’re having a great time. This is because the person has sifted through hundreds of mundane snaps of shoes, snatched conversations and toilet doors and picked out that one moment when everyone’s trying to do Beyonce. As opposed to the many when everyone’s making awkward comments about their below-par mojitos.
Photos of kids – here’s a biggie. No-one wants to see snot-encrusted, tear-stained urchins. No-one. Not even you, and you love your kids. Take photos of them when they’re just dressed and washed. Snap them when they take that first lick of the ice cream rather than when it falls to the ground and they unleash a blood-curdling screech of dismay. Do not make people suspect that you occasionally find parenthood anything other than a beatific experience.
Do not put up pics of your hungover self, or compare your shrunken brain to a walnut for several hours. Unless of course you’re whitewater rafting with a hangover – an expensive hangover you earned while schmoozing with super-cool people in a super-cool venue. You didn’t stumble into bed with your teeth unbrushed and wake up barfing, did you?